Permanently Awol July 18, 2005
William Westmoreland, the controversial general who commanded this country’s military during the Vietnam War, is dead at the age of 91. In other words, he finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Soft-spoken, yet strong-willed, the highly disciplined Westmoreland represented the ideal image of an American military leader. Unfortunately that American military leader was George Custer.
Born to upper class parents in South Carolina, Westmoreland was able to take the lessons learned from his state’s pointlessly tragic losses during the Civil War, and completely ignore them during the Vietnam War.
According to one biographer, Westmoreland loved ice cream and liked to drink 2 gin and tonics every night. A habit that not only explains him seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, but throwing up in one as well.
The deceased requested his body be cremated and his ashes dropped into a humiliating quagmire.
I just can’t shake the feeling that he’ll be back, Jim. You see, old soldiers don’t die, their mistakes haunt our dreams, pollute our futures and pave the way for future (current) madmen to gleefully hop, skip and jump into their own humiliating quagmires.