Milton Levine, Inventor of The Ant Farm

Milton Levine, inventor of the classic Ant Farm that gave millions of children a sneak peak into the underground lives of insects, is now giving millions of ants a sneak peak into his gallbladder.

Levine died after falling asleep underneath a giant magnifying glass he was building for the time when giant mutant ants will most certainly attack us from outer space.

When family members rushed to his side, they were shocked to find Levine’s wallet and Rolex had been stolen by dreaded Crack Ants.

Local entomologists say Levine’s death rattle measured 7.1 on the Schmidt Sting Pain Index.

Levine became fascinated by ants in his childhood, and pledged to someday honor the magnificent creatures’ 22,000 species and 130 million years of earthly existence by trapping them inside a plastic box with a miniature windmill.

His first Ant Farms in the 1950’s featured a green plastic frame with a whimsical farm scene, including a traveling salesman ant that would end up sleeping with the farmer’s daughter ant.

Levine subsequent inventions in the 1960s never quite hit it off as big. Like the Spahn Ant Ranch, where hippie ants would vie for the affection of a mesmerizing bearded ant with connections to Dennis Wilson.

The deceased requested his remains be filled with special semi-transparent gel to provide moisture, nutrition, and egg-laying structures, and then interned in Antietam National Cemetery.

 

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