Monthly Archives: July 2011

John Barron, Inventor of The ATM

Posted on July 25, 2011 by

John Barron, a Scotsman who over forty years ago invented the automated teller machine, is out of cash. Witnesses say he died after an irate customer rammed a crowbar into his mouth-slot when he refused to dispense fifty dollars. News … Continue reading →

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From The Archives: Susan Atkins, Born Again Christian

Posted on July 18, 2011 by

Susan Atkins, whose fame stems mainly from the fact that she’s not nearly as cute as Squeaky Fromme, is dead Atkins lived a quiet, middle-class existence during her early years, singing in her church choir and helping out with numerous … Continue reading →

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Frank Neuhauser, Winner Of The First National Spelling Bee

Posted on July 11, 2011 by

Frank Neuhauser, winner of the very first national spelling bee in 1925, is dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. A family spokesperson said Neuhauser died of Myelodysplastic syndrome, a blood disease so hard to spell many doctors refuse to cure it. In 1925 … Continue reading →

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From The Archives: Betty James, Named The Slinky

Posted on July 4, 2011 by

Betty James, the woman responsible for naming the Slinky, is dead after tumbling down a flight of stairs into a heating grate. Apparently her momentum caused her body to bounce end-over-end from one step to the next -much to the … Continue reading →

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