Monthly Archives: July 2011

John Barron, Inventor of The ATM

John Barron, a Scotsman who over forty years ago invented the automated teller machine, is out of cash. Witnesses say he died after an irate customer rammed a crowbar into his mouth-slot when he refused to dispense fifty dollars. News … Continue reading

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From The Archives: Susan Atkins, Born Again Christian

Susan Atkins, whose fame stems mainly from the fact that she’s not nearly as cute as Squeaky Fromme, is dead Atkins lived a quiet, middle-class existence during her early years, singing in her church choir and helping out with numerous … Continue reading

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Frank Neuhauser, Winner Of The First National Spelling Bee

Frank Neuhauser, winner of the very first national spelling bee in 1925, is dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. A family spokesperson said Neuhauser died of Myelodysplastic syndrome, a blood disease so hard to spell many doctors refuse to cure it. In 1925 … Continue reading

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From The Archives: Betty James, Named The Slinky

Betty James, the woman responsible for naming the Slinky, is dead after tumbling down a flight of stairs into a heating grate. Apparently her momentum caused her body to bounce end-over-end from one step to the next -much to the … Continue reading

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