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Blogroll
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Robert Hulseman, Inventor of the Red Solo Cup
Robert Hulseman, Inventor of the now ubiquitous red beverage holder, is dead after drinking a 16-once cup of trucker urine he thought was last night’s beer. He is survived by daughters Patricia and Margaret, who both happen to be D-cups. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Catholic church, inventions, plastic cup, Red Solo Cup, Robert Hulseman, Toby Keith, traveler's lid
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Big Mac Inventor Michael Delligatti
BUY THE AMAZING BOOK: https://www.createspace.com/3721076 (Please note: the freakin’ book contains HUNDREDS of obits, but obviously not some of the most recent ones published in this blog.)
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Big Mac, Big Mac Inventor, diabetes, heart disease, McDonald's, Michael Delligatti, Ronald McDonald, special sauce, stroke
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Robert Ettinger, “the father of cryonics”
Robert Ettinger, the cryonics pioneer who advocated freezing the dead with the hope that medical technology would someday enable them to pay taxes again, is dead at the age of 92 after attempting to defrost an erection he had back … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Cryonics, Death, frozen head, hot dogs, immortal, Robert Ettinger
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Nancy Reagan, 40th President of the United States
Nancy Reagan, the controlling, pill-popping child-beating matriarch of a sick, fucked-up family who regularly stole Valium and diuretics from each other; and proud wife to a president who once declared ketchup a vegetable before ultimately becoming one, is now dead … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, AIDS, First Lady, Nancy Reagan, Rock Hudson, Ronald Reagan, Tom Brokaw, valium
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Jan Crouch, Professional Money Raiser
Jan Crouch, who 43 years ago co-founded the world’s largest Christian television network with nothing more than a pocket full of hope, hair resembling the helmet Rick Moranis wore is Spaceballs, and $30,000 in fraudulently secured donations, is now crouching … Continue reading
Future Obituary – Ted Cruz, Canadian Sausage, Pitchman For Snot
Ted Cruz, the passionate and effective fighter for ineffective government, medieval economic theory and the Constitution as defined by Nazis, is dead after forty-five years of poorly imitating human life. His daughter reportedly found the Republican presidential candidate in their … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Cuba, Harvard, Planned Parenthood, snot, Ted Cruz, Texas
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