Tag Archives: Business

David P. Reynolds, Metal Head Headed Metal Company

Posted on April 5, 2013 by

David Reynolds, the metal manufacturing executive who gave America aluminum foil, has finally wrapped up his life in a lead-lined coffin. The 96 year-old was found suffocated inside a used Quaker Oats box after his son forgot to poke enough … Continue reading →

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John Barron, Inventor of The ATM

Posted on July 25, 2011 by

John Barron, a Scotsman who over forty years ago invented the automated teller machine, is out of cash. Witnesses say he died after an irate customer rammed a crowbar into his mouth-slot when he refused to dispense fifty dollars. News … Continue reading →

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From The Archives: Michael Vale, Star of 100 Dunkin’ Donuts Commercials

Posted on April 8, 2011 by

“Time to make the coffin!” Michael Vale, who for 15 years played Fred the Baker in over 100 Dunkin Donuts commercials, was found dead in his apartment with his eyes glazed, body twisted, and stomach swollen with a rich, tangy … Continue reading →

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From The Archives: Gerry Thomas, Inventor of the TV Dinner

Posted on December 7, 2010 by

Stick a Fork in Him, He Was Done July 18, 2005 Gerry Thomas, the man who perfected the concept of putting dangerous amounts of fat, sodium and MSG into aluminum trays and freezing them so a generation of children could … Continue reading →

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