Tag Archives: Invention

Eugene Polley, Inventor of The Wireless TV Remote Control

Eugene Polley, inventor of the wireless television remote control, is no longer in control of anything. Polley died in Downers Grove, Ill of natural causes, if such a thing was ever possible in Downers Grove. Small and frail, the elderly … Continue reading

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John Barron, Inventor of The ATM

John Barron, a Scotsman who over forty years ago invented the automated teller machine, is out of cash. Witnesses say he died after an irate customer rammed a crowbar into his mouth-slot when he refused to dispense fifty dollars. News … Continue reading

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Osama bin-Laden, Billionaire Industrialist, Businessman, Entrepreneur, Religious Icon & Chick Magnet

  Live Audio From Marc Maron’s WTF: Osama bin-Laden, the shy yet dedicated business major who turned his father’s construction business into a worldwide concern, is dead at the age of 52 after guiding his head and chest areas at … Continue reading

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Harry Wesley Coover Jr., Inventor of Super Glue

After a prolonged illness, Harry Wesley Coover Jr., the inventor of Super Glue, is now Super Dead. Doctors fought bravely throughout his illness to reduce cranial swelling but no matter how hard they tried, they could never get his cap … Continue reading

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Samuel T. Cohen, Inventor of The Neutron Bomb

Samuel T. Cohen, inventor of the neutron bomb, was found dead in his home after straining for days on what he tragically dubbed “my clam sausage ordnance.” Paramedics were shocked to find his internal organs had completely disintegrated, leaving the … Continue reading

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From The Archives: Robert Kearns, Inventor of Intermittent Wipers

Robert W. Kearns, beloved inventor of the intermittent rotating rubber-scraper mechanism responsible for squeegiing rain of the windshields of millions of automobiles, was found dead at his home completely wiped out. By the time paramedics arrived, Kearns’ aged, cracked, and … Continue reading

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Morrie Yohai, Inventor of the Cheez Doodle

Morrie Yohai, inventor of the Cheez Doodle, is now Cheez Deadle. Doctors say his heart gave out after hours of straining through a particularly difficult doodle. By the time paramedics found his body it was already caked with a delicious … Continue reading

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